That Guy

"Dude.

That guy, You now, the one that's like instant oatmeal.

You add water and heat it up for a bit, and then it's all like bleghhgh.

It's digusting, and goopy, and has no flavor.

It's like Play-doh."

Yeah.

"But sometimes, oatmeal can be good.

But you need to stir it nicely,

and cook it on the stove.

Add some honey to it.

It won't be that play-doh goosh.

You'll need orange juice to wash it down though."

Maybe we should make it into play-doh.

"And like, create a statue with it?

See if it'll dry?"

Yeah, like a big dinosaur. I could make it the centerpiece in my house.

And be like,

Don't be THAT GUY.

"Woah. Yeah. And then it will start molding and falling apart,

and the dinosaur will be like 'WUUHHAHA'

and it'll just be slumping over...

'WUUUUHHHAAAHHA'"

And then I can put a bowl of nice steaming oatmeal with honey beside it,

with a glass of orange juice.

It'll be a nice comparison for people coming in.

"Yeah. Like, to do and not to do.

It'll be like a pepsi commercial thing!

Where the people sample each thing and see how they like it."

YEAH! I could be like, okay..

So you can eat the bowl of nice steaming oatmeal,

or take a bite of this fucking dinosaur

Random guy: "Do you know where I can get some weed?"

"No."

Random guy: "Fuck you."

Sometimes I am really proud of the conversations some people can have with me before even knowing my name. We also talked about pop-rocks, but I'll spare the internet that story.

Random shows in people's houses = WIN

Conversations about oatmeal with the house owner = EPIC WIN